So they know what day it is, of course. "Duh."
A U of I grad student walks through a line at Hy-Vee and puts a box of mac and cheese and a pint of ice cream on the the belt.
"Your single?," says the checker.
"How did you know?," he asked.
"your ugly," she replied.
A U of I Professor comes back to his trailer after an afternoon on Finkbine.
His Significant other says, "You look awful, what's wrong?"
"one of the best colleagues a guy ever had dropped dead of a heart attack on the third hole."
"That's awful," she replied."
"Yeah, the rest of the afternoon it was shoot, drag Bob, shoot, drag Bob, shoot, drag Bob."
