...just catch up on the news... Oh My, is that Smiling Bob climbing out of the pool, sans trunks to the admiring stares of...of the Church ladies I guess. Now I click to the next channel and there is that panel of multicultural trollops assuring the one guy (pimp) on the set that size matters more than anything else and if you don't have size you can't have what you presumably want more than anything else on account of girls want to be stuffed like Thanksgiving turkeys. Click again, it's those two young fat girls looking at and add for a fingertip vibrator while Aunt Bea explains that they can get them on line, that's where she got hers. Cut to two women talking about the same product, "It's great for a relationship if you know what I mean." I don't so I click again, and there is that Alpha Male who claims he does not care about size (presumably he uses magnums but has a prostate problem) but tried the product anyway as his admiring wife chimes in that she guesses this is a "guy thing, it might be funnn, bring back that old spark." I click, it's Vince, this time from Slap-chop, innocent enough, but no, He tells me, "Your gonna love my nuts." I click again, two more slutty types selling absolutely indescribable multi-colored, waterproof devises of unknown purpose and origin. One can only feverishly, fantasize about having to show up at the local emergency room to have the lethal looking things removed from one's rectum. I click again and there is that old Canadian bat handling more huge alien looking dildos and fielding calls from people almost as dumb as Jerry Springer's kids. I'm not a Doctor she repeats for the third time in two minutes. I click again in desperation, "I'm bigger he says." click, "bigger." click, "bigger" "He's definitely bigger," she says. "bigger, bigger, bigger."
Great Caesars Ghost!, what have we become?
*last line of "The Sandpepples"
"What the Hell happened?" Steven McQueen...then he dies
last line of the American Dream..."What the Hell happened?"...then the dream dies
